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                      Vol. 1 issue #358  Aug, 18, 2003

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Topics in this issue:

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C o n t i n u i n g   D i s c u s s i o n s (4)

1.Trouble with WindowsXP Home Edition
~Mike Busby

2.Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic
~David Weed
~Sharon Bray-McPherson
~Philip Thompson
~Eric McArdle
~James Pendleton
~Chris and Brett
~Peter Green
~Tony Tezak
~Cathy Wagner
~Kathie Autry

3.I am looking for the cheapest way to advertise
~Cathy Wagner
~Sylvia Barber

4.Email lists
~Tonya Payne

N e w     P o s t s  (5)

1.Gordon Galler
~Pop ups

2.Sandra Hicks
~Is Reading Emails A Thing Of The Past?

~Search engine ranking

4.David Weed
~New topic - Joyner has "unretired"

5.William Jaroske
~Will Market America become the next Amway?

Site Review Requests   (4)

1.Eric McArdle

2.Clint Morgan


4.Kevin Haub

Site Review Responses   (0)

G u e s t   A r t i c l e    (0)

Joke of the Day

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===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (1.1)=============
From:Mike Busby
Subject:Trouble with WindowsXP Home Edition

I've just been reading a short article in the latest digest from Eduardo
Queiroz to "Patricia" about her problems with XP Home.

There's a great bumper-filled site filled with tons of info about
WindowsXP which Patricia may find very helpful. It's

If you can't find the answer to your problem there, then maybe it could be
worth subscribing to WinXPNews at You can read
all the articles online if you have the time.

Hope this info helps.



===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.1)=============
From:David Weed
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic


One could write an ebook the size of an epic novel and still not cover
everything you need to know about generating traffic. I am in the process
of such a project right now and should be releasing Part I by this time
next week.
You seem to be focusing on traffic exchanges as your primary source of
traffic. While these were quite effective when they first appeared, they
have lost a great deal of their effectiveness as more users have learned
how to manipulate the systems. I'm not saying that you shouldn't use them,
just don't expect them to bring you a vast amount of quality (read
targeted) traffic. John's post on the topic is accurate and I'll back him
up on that. In fact I'll go one step further, I've found the best thing to
promote on a traffic exchange is a traffic building program (another
traffic exchange!). My results indicate that the people actually using
these traffic exchanges are interested in getting more traffic to their
site... and little else. So a fast loading page about how to get more
traffic (with an email signup to get the report) seems to be the most
effective use of traffic exchanges.
There is a way to build quality traffic to your site, but it takes either
time or money or a mix of both. I'll cover that in another post though as
this one has gotten too long.

Good Luck!

David Weed

Profit Network (
Your Home Based Businesss Resource Center


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.2)=============
From:Sharon Bray-McPherson
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Marc Possoff asked,

"is there a "system" available that a person, like myself, can get the
maximum benefit of promoting a particular program?"

Hi Marc,

I recently started using a marketing system called iMarket.

Some of the features are, Prospect Management, and Email Campaigns.  And
it's free. They also have leads that you can purchase but it is not

You don't promote the iMarket program, you promote your own.  There's not
an affiliate program so you won't receive any compensation for referring
people to them, but it's a great resource for duplication and prospecting

You can see my iMarket website at,

To sign up for your own system go to,

I hope this helps and wish you much success.

Sharon Bray-McPherson

Independent Fuller Brush Distributor
Forever Friends Gifts


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.3)=============
From:Philip Thompson
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Hi All,
In regards to Marc's post, I also belong to Mpam.
I don't open my browser 50 times per day, instead
I put all the start pages in one html file. Each
one opens a new window when clicked on. Achieves
the same results without wasting time.
I am working on a step by step tutorial on how to
do it. Any one interested in getting it can mail
me at
Please include what operating system your computer

Have a great day.

Philip Thompson



===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.4)=============
From:Eric McArdle
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Hello Marc,

Traffic Exchanges can be quite effective if you use them strategically.
You are right about people concerned about only getting credits, but you
are also right about them not looking unless the site catches their eye.
So what do you do?

Make a site that has one objective that people can find beneficial in less
than 30 seconds.

For example:

A website with the title
"Free Internet Marketing Resources"

Followed by a short paragraph explaining which sort of free resources.

And Finally, be sure to capture their email address. Best done with an

Most emphasis with this tactic in autohit exchanges. Hard hitting title
that will make them want to input their email address and get what you are

Fact for me: I've never made a sale from a click exchange, but I have from
the autoresponder that they triggered through the click exchange. And
also, I recruit very little people through click exchanges.

Reason: When you surf for 20 minutes on any click exchange, you will see
many of the same sites multiple times. That's why you need to be unique and
make your own website revolving around the program without people knowing.

The best way to generate traffic is through email and opt-in lists in my

I've gone through plenty of click exchanges and all sorts of traffic
generators, but my conversion rate is never as high with a simple email.

As for MPAM, don't you think that is a lot of programs to sign up with? I
know of a better program called the

It has click exchanges, opt-in lists, exit exchanges, and autoresponders.
It is a great program to keep organized with and to build your referral
base with.

The secret to traffic exchanges is to build your downline enough so that
they generate you traffic everyday.  I no longer "Click for hits" anymore
and login to my traffic programs only once a week as to keep them from
becoming inactive.

FreeClickThruClub is great because when you recruit somebody to the
program, they will sign up for all of the traffic generators which means
that they will sign up under you.

It has the same idea as MPAM just with way less programs to join meaning
more people will go with it.

Traffic exchanges are effective, but that's once they are set on

ezine advertising
opt-in lists

These are the most effective ways to gain exposure.

For more ideas on traffic generating, please check out this site:

This site includes the recent four ways of traffic generation that I had
just listed.

Hope this helps!

Warmest Regards,
Eric McArdle

Best free traffic generating ideas comes from


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.5)=============
From:James Pendleton
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Hello Marc I say you question about
web marketing and your ventures. The first
and best thing you have done in my opinion is
participate in the weblication of Adland Pro.

I know from first hand experience it will
bring traffic to your site. Because the many readers
will be curious and visit your web sites just like I
did.. If sales generate from any site traffic depends
slowly on the target visitors and your content. With
real world experience in marketing I am sure you
already know that. The web is much different. One
second and your visitor can click away.

Web site traffic is very elusive. Especially for the
little guy or mom and pop start up business and
or web site. It can be done but the traffic of the
big boys will never be achieved. So forget it. I am
talking about 2 or 3 million hits a day type traffic.
That takes big time money and big time band width.

It is possible however to muster 5 to 10 thousand
hits a day on a little guy site. I know cause I have
done it before. My hope is to be semi big time one day.
I am still in training! LOL!!

Site theme, topics and content for your target audience is critical. Since
I give free web advice and help on a variety of web topics. My target is
easy. Yours is not. Lots of sites and businesses are in you arena. Stay
away from all the hype when it comes to buying web site traffic auto
submission and or web page optimization.

I will try my best to keep this short. This is the old fashion way but I
feel the best way. Auto-submission will not work as well as you think.

*First search engine top page listing and ranking is critical. Hand
submission to all the majors and then wait!! They will eventually index
your site!
*Placement in as many web directories you can find is also critical.

*Create addition portal pages all over the web. As many as you can stand
to create.

* If you can actually edit your web site yourself or your webmaster. Do
true reciprocal links exchanges with other sites.

*Post  relevant topics in as many message boards as you can stand. Some
board ultimately end up in the search engines.

* Say hello in as many Guest Books as you can stand. They to sometimes get
indexed in the search engines.
* Start a ezine and build a subscriber list. It must be interesting and
enjoyed by your readers. Think about how much you enjoy Adland Pro. It
takes time to build a opt in/out list but if your work is good it will
grow. My base is 9000 but fluctuates.

*Then the best thing I have found is writing. Sit down and write several
articles. You must spend lots of time on your topics.

My writing has stood the test of time so far. Why? because I write on
inspiration only. When something hits me I write about it.
Which means the topic is good and relevant over time. Then start sending
your articles in to various ezines. You will be turned down by most.
Especially if you are not topic specific. However you will be excepted by
some. I got published by Webpro news a couple
of years ago and was running over 15000 hits per day! Their base of
readers is in the millions!Email request out the bazoo! It went for months
then slowly subsided. I also have a couple archived at other sites. Not
many because I do not right much. Become a article machine and you will
surely get results.

Finally word of mouth in the world of brick and mortar is a way to get
traffic. However content is critical. Here is a idea. Find a different
topic you are good at other than your web ventures.
Something that is free but something that web surfers want. Then inside
that market your web ventures.

James Pendleton


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.6)=============
From:Chris and Brett
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Marc Possoff
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Hello Marc Possoff

This will take care of all your needs.
I don't need to say more, it sells it's self.
Check it out

Eagles Nest Jewellers, Indian Jewellery and much more
Make money with multiple income streams


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===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.7)=============
From:Peter Green
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

 Hello Marc,

I have tried a number of Hit exchanges including MPAM and simply got tired
of surfing. MY time is much better utilized placing ads in ezines and I
have also got better results.

As you already have your primary program you simply require prospects
visiting your site. I personally use three ways to promote my primary

1. I Purchasing leads from one of the best lead generating companies
online. By paying for quality leads I and marketing to them I am even able
to promote the leads program and it's now self funding.The leads are
paying for themselves.

2. Many Ezine ads are free. I also publish my own Ezine and send it to all
my leads. This is an effective way of promoting many products to my leads
and subscribers.

3. You need bait to catch fish. It is the same with advertising and
generating leads. You need a product or service that gets peoples

My number 3 option is simply the best all round "bait" I have ever seen.
My rate of people visiting this site and filling in their details to
opt-in for more information is around 50%. The reason for this is quite
obvious if you were to visit the site.

We offer regular weekly online training and support and have products and
services you need to see to believe. For a sneak preview visit from there you will find a
link to the "bait" site.

I also find that be having prospects having to go via my own personal site
at NZ-Internet, that those who get to and fill in the opt-in form are
excellent leads. I have thinned out the Tyre kickers so that the leads are
really wanting to know more. From there you promote the "bait" site as
well as your primary program. It's a win win system.

Thinking about it there is also a number 4 option and that's having a
personal web site like my NZ-Internet site where you can have all your
programs together in one place and there is a chance that visitors may spy
out another product or service that you are promoting is of interest them

All the best with growing your Online Business Marc.


Peter Green.

Generating Leads Made Eazy


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.8)=============
From:Tony Tezak
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Hi Marc,

I have been successful using traffic exchanges!  I click approximately
1400-2000 pages a day on 50 plus exchanges on a rotating basis.  You must
have the discipline to click every, single day!  You have to set aside
whatever time you can and Keep with it.

The clicking has resulted in downlines in the thousands.  My best results
is getting people to join free programs and showing them  that they too
can build a downline.  As they become comfortable with the exchanges and
find that they can build a downline, they upgrade or join paid programs
under you.

As your downline grows in an exchange, your referral credits grow and your
page(s) get more views.

Keep clicking! <grin>


Tony Tezak

The Best of the BEST in Traffic Exchanges!


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.9)=============
From:Cathy Wagner
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Hi Marc,

I don't think any one way is the best way to promote online. I think the
most successful sites use every advertising method available.

I can tell you that my new site drew 95% click through on various traffic
generators. That is, 95% of surfers actually clicked through to other
pages from my main page before they left the site.

This statistic tells us that people do actually look at sites, if they have an
interest, beyond the time that they are forced to view it for credit.

When using traffic generators, you must consider your web site first. If it
takes 30 seconds, or even 20 seconds to load, surfers will most likely
not see it before they click for credit. That would definitely be a waste of
time! But people do it.

Be sure to grab surfers' attention with the top portion of your page, that is
the part you can see immediately when the page loads.

For example, if you want them to sign up for your newsletter, don't put
the form down at the bottom of the page, or give a link to it on another
page. Put the form in that top portion of the page along with your
irresistible reason why people should want to receive your information.

Also, clicking for a couple of traffic generators will increase the exposure
and number of credits you earn for the time that you spend.

While these tips will help you get the most out of traffic generators, don't
put all of your eggs into that basket.

Don't expect immediate sales from these users. Busy surfers are far more
likely to give you their email address in exchange for more information or
a free gift, than they are to purchase something right there on the spot.

I suggest you start off by clicking for say an hour per day for a couple of
days and see what happens. It is very important to analyze your results. If
a little clicking is not getting you anywhere, a lot of clicking won't get you
anywhere either.

If you don't see any results, you can experiment with your page. You
could make design changes to your own page or give the URL for
another of your affiliate pages to see if that makes any difference.

Also, some exchanges allow you to use a site rotator for your URL. With
a rotator, you could plug both MPAM and you main offer into it and have
both sites showing on those exchanges.

Some offers work better than others on traffic generators. The only way
to find out how yours will do is to try it. :)

Have a Profitable Day,

Cathy Wagner

ONE STOP Internet Business Services
Your ONE STOP for high quality marketing
information, tips and recommendations.


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.10)=============
From:Kathie Autry
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

Dear Associates:
Specifically Mark Possoff:

There are many ways to generate traffic and you should try a sprinkling of
all of them for success.

For example:
Traffic Exchanges
ADLandPro (of course!)
Link Exchange Programs
Search Engine Submittal will submit your site(s) to 40 search engines for free!
Ezines-Ultimate Mailer,GuruMailer,Ezineblaze

Try one try them all and Good Luck!

P.S. I hope this helps




===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (2.11)=============
Subject:Beginner's Question about Generating Traffic

In response to Gloria's post for ways to promote a website I have a list
of suggestions at

There are many ways to promote a site you just need to approach it from
many different angles, offline and on for best results.

Good luck!


"Freebies for Webmasters"


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (3.1)=============
Subject:I am looking for the cheapest way to advertise

(1) Word of Mouth: You can talk to your friends and families about your
business, since they know you already it is more likely that they will
trust you. You can organise business meetings with some group of people,
in this meeting, tell them the benefits, and what makes your business
different from your competitors, eg, quality products and services.

(2) EMAIL MARKETING:  This is a very efficient but one of the cheapest
methods of advertising your business on the internet, collect the email
addresses of few of your friends and families then include links to your
websites in your emails before you send out your email.

YOUR OWN WEBSITE: You can save a lot of money when you advertise in your
own website. Even a homepage provided for you by your Internet Service
Provider will do. This type of website will let millions of people world
wide know more about your business.

I hope that this will help.

Best regards,


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (3.2)=============
From:Cathy Wagner
Subject:I am looking for the cheapest way to advertise


This is important for you and for the many other readers who are in the
same position as you. I hear this quite often, "I have a web site, now
where can I advertise it cheaply and make money?"

A question like this (and don't get me wrong, I was there too) shows a
lack of understanding about the whole selling online industry.

When I see this type of question I hear, "Ok, I've done what I was told,
where do I plug it in to get my cash."

This is not the way the internet works. What you are about to launch into
is really a career in marketing. Yes, marketing. Even web design can be
seen as marketing; you are trying to appeal to customers and encourage
them into a desired action.

Marketing is not where you advertise, it is how you advertise.

You seem to say you have 7 different web sites to promote. Wow! that's
a lot! What are you planning to promote first? Will you promote them all
the same? Who are your target markets? Would the same target market
be interested in all of your offers?

You are asking for the cheapest ways to advertise and still make a profit.
This, to me, implies that you plan to spend money, be it as little as
possible, and expect to make a profit.

I suggest you roll up your sleeves and do some homework. Go to a free
marketing information site, such as mine at
http// , and start reading. Start
experimenting with ad copy at free advertising sites and don't spend your
money until you can generate at least some response for free.

This may seem like a harsh response, but you and others, really need
someone to say "Hey! It doesn't work like that."

Those of us that have been around for a while have seen too many people
throw their money away on something that couldn't possibly work. It is
heartbreaking to see hardworkers become frustrated and disappointed
time and time again due to lack of planning or understanding.

The internet is not really like the gold rush, as some tend to portray it,
where all you have to do is stake your claim for your share of the cash. It
takes hard work and determination to start a business, any business. You
wouldn't open a 3D business without doing your homework first to figure
out how you were actually going to bring customers in.

Once you have a product and a web site, you need to test your ad copy
and advertising methods to discover which work best for you and your
offer. You won't make your fortune with free advertising, but you will
profit by learning as much as you can for nothing.

Have a Profitable Day,

Cathy Wagner

ONE STOP Internet Business Services
Your ONE STOP for high quality marketing
information, tips and recommendations.


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (3.3)=============
From:Sylvia Barber
Subject:I am looking for the cheapest way to advertise

Hi Gloria,

 Have you by chance happened to have noticed that some of the
newsletters/ezines out there have fr`ee advertising? Mine is one of them.
There are a few of us out here who do still have fr`ee advertising
sections in our newsletters.

 Also, you can sign up for fr`ee here as an advertiser and get people to
your site. I found it's been very effective for me.

Advertisers - fr`ee ad to over 500,000:

 Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with. I hope this
helps you in your endeavors!


Sylvia Barber

LOGON Ad Agency will send your ads to 3.3
million. You receive a schedule. We do the
work for you. Reserve your Ad Pak or single
ad today.


===========C o n t i n u i n g D i s c u s s i o n (4.1)=============
From:Tonya Payne
Subject:Email lists

Iain Mckinnon asked....
"Hi, dose anyone have any info on an easy to use companies that will send
out email shots for me at a good rate. Please only give info if you have
had good response from the service. I am promoting a casino at the moment
and would like any ideas that you have."

Hi Iain,

A friend of mine just opened a new auction site for email ads, including
Get Paid to Read Email, ezines, etc.  The prices are fabulous and a really
great way to test the waters as far as targeting email advertising goes.

I know a lot of people don't like GPTR, but I've gotten some really good
results from targeting my ads there. These people are looking for good
money making opportunities so if you can write good, catchy ad copy then
this may be an inexpensive way to get some hits to your site.

The members of these sites are required to stay on your site (by using
timers) for a certain period of time, so you tend to get a better response
than standard email ads.  They are always looking for fresh advertisers,
too, so if your ad catches their attention your casino site may well get
some nice exposure, especially since you can target members who have
'gambling' selected in their preferences.  Dana, the owner of the auction
site has over 15,000 members in her programs so she drives a lot of
traffic to the site as well.  She has one of the best reputations in the
industry as well and comes highly recommended.

The auction site: Jazzy's Got You Covered Auctions, is  located at if you, or
anyone else is interested.  It is totally free to buy and sell ads and
everyone is welcome.  Dana can also be contacted via the contact email on
the site.  Hope this helps you!

Tonya Payne


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==============N e w P o s t i n g  (1)=============
From:Gordon Galler
Subject:Pop ups

Recently I have been bombarded with hundreds of notices just popping up on
my screen. These are not related to any affiliate program or connected to
a web page I have opened. I have been told that there is something in the
windows xp program that I can set that will block users from sending these
adds to my computer. However no one has been able to tell me how to adjust
my setting.

Please Help

Gordon Galler

EMM the MLM alternitive
Looking for real close out shopping online?



==============N e w P o s t i n g  (2)=============
From:Sandra Hicks
Subject:Is Reading Emails A Thing Of The Past?

I would like to get some input on this.  I have joined Safe Lists,
Targeted Lists, Paid mail outs, all with very little response back.  Oh, I
get lots of return emails promoting other offers, but nothing for what I
sent out.  The thing is that NO ONE seems to be reading anything anymore.
They set up Auto Responders and forget them.  I have not gone that route
and do look at all emails sent to me.  As most are of no concern I do
delete.  So, I guess my question to the membership here is this.  " How do
we advertise to the world if no one is interested in learning about new
things out there".  I used to get an average of at least 7 hits a day with
my Adlands ads and now rarely get any.  Any suggestions on a new way to
get our messages out?

Your complete site for telecommunication, education, double verified
emails, webbuilding etc.


==============N e w P o s t i n g  (3)=============
Subject:Search engine ranking

Hello all

I have a website at I have read a lot about meta
tags, content, links etc. to increase the website ranking on search
engines. I need your help because even though I have put meta tags,
content and  a links/affiliates page, my website ranking has not gone up.
Please, can anyone help? Please I won't mind your comments on the website
too. I would appreciate all your responses and help.

Thank you



==============N e w P o s t i n g  (4)=============
From:David Weed
Subject:New topic - Joyner has "unretired"

Just to confirm what we all expected. Mark Joyner has started fresh with a
new venture. It's still in "beta" but it looks interesting.
You can take a look at it at:

I knew he wasn't *really* going to retire *wink*.

David Weed


Profit Network (
Your Home Based Businesses Resource Center


==============N e w P o s t i n g  (5)=============
From:William Jaroske
Subject:Will Market America become the next Amway?

I went and read some information on Herbal watch  and it had stated this
about Market America the unfranchise opportunity.

Market America
An article from the Triad Business website - Sales are what the company is
all about. Market America makes no products and builds no stores. It
offers a mix of vitamins, food supplements, personal care products,
cleaning products and other items similar to other direct-sales companies.

Market America is a publicly traded company.
Edgar filings are available on the net.

I have no idea why these websites are calling it scam. There was no
further info about it market_america_scam.htm

Now  is marketing it

I checked out the altavista search it seems Bizy Mom's is
promoting it
then go back to google to check out the Millenuim Project at where it listed over a hundred pyramid schemes


Now I predict that this will become the next Amway.

People to this day will not learn that joining these cracked up programs
won't give them any advantage what so ever and many of them develop money
eyes where they dream of making money fast. Alot of them are taught to
refer family and friends to the programs.  And if nobody can't bring in
family or a few friends into the programs. They are just out of luck
because in most cases they don't teach them how to promote or sell on the

People are never told in the beginning that it will take work. People are
never told that it will take time to build the business.  In retrospect,
they are taught to lie and hype the program to generate sign-ups. A few
agree with me over at the Friends In Business web forum

It is just sad that people are never told the truth.

William Jaroske

Invest in worthwhile opportunities for once. Its plain foolish to promote
gimmicky scams and schemes with no hopes to make money. Get yourself
educated today!!


=====================Site Review Request  (1)===============
From:Eric McArdle

Heres my site

Please tell me what I can do to better it

Eric McArdle


=====================Site Review Request  (2)===============
From:Clint Morgan

I noticed that you guys (and girls) are doing site reviews for people.  I
would really appreciate it if some of you could provide me with feedback.

Thanks in advance!

Clint Morgan


=====================Site Review Request  (3)===============

Greetings All,

I would like to get my site review to see how to improve my site.

Thank you in advance.

All the best,
I would welcome suggestions on improving it.


=====================Site Review Request  (4)===============
From:Kevin Haub

Hello Adlanders,

I think that some of the best website reviewers are members of Adland
Digest. You take the time to offer valuable and constructive advice.
Therefore, I would appreciate it if you would review my new site for me.

You may use my digest email address or you may mail directly to


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=====================Joke of the Day   (1)===============

A man walks into a restaurant with an ostrich. They sit down and the waitress
comes over and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries
and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same,"
says the ostrich.
A short time later, the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40
please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for
payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says,
"I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the
same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine, until late one evening, the two enter again. "The
usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says
the man.
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be
Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the
table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket
every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic
and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just
have to put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be
there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as
long as you live!" "That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls
Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks, "One
other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man replies with a slight frown, "My second wish was for a chick with long


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