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Vol. 2 issue #207 Nov 20, 2006                    


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The Big, Fat Lie...About "Trying Harder!"

©2006 by Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler

You've been searching for more success in some area of
your life. Perhaps for abundance, personal growth, or
some other important goal.

But if you're running into problems, it may come from
something you were taught as a child!

Do you remember being told: "Just try harder -- you'll
get it!"

Well that advice is actually the worst possible advice
to drill into a child's head. Are you surprised to hear
that from a success coach? Then allow me to share a
true personal story.

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Ted's General Info

This is me!   
Ted Pierre (user id: 307659) is offline. Last login: 11/11/2006 1:14:49 PM 686 Friends
Member since 7/12/2006
Mr. Ted Pierre
Gender Male
Age 59
Location Parksville, BC, Canada
Interests Photography (digital and 35mm), Golf, Reading, Health, Exercise at the gym, Writing, Digital Photography Manipulation Instruction
Company Ted Pierre
Industry To be advised - looking for new ventures

I'm sitting in a screened porch in a peaceful little
cabin by the shore of Lake Tahoe reading a book. It's a
warm late August afternoon. It's very quiet, except for
an irritating "buzz-thump."

I look up and see a large fly desperately throwing
itself at the window at the far end of the porch. The
fly has staked its life on a doomed success strategy:
Just try harder -- try harder -- try harder!

Obviously, the fly's goal seeking behavior is not
working! Its efforts hold no hope for success. No
matter how hard it throws itself at the glass, it can't

I watch and wonder at the irony of its situation. The
little creature has literally staked its life on
reaching its goal through determined raw effort! But
its very struggle is a trap!

I look over at the open door just a few feet away. A
short flight and it could be free. The possibility of a
breakthrough was there. It would be so easy. But the
fly had made its commitment!

Why doesn't the creature explore its options, I wonder?

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Why doesn't it try something different? How did it get
locked into one doomed course of action? Into just
trying the same thing harder and harder. Into just hoping for
some miraculous success...in spite of the evidence to
the contrary!

The next morning I found the fly dead on the dusty

I was reminded of an earlier period in my own life. I
had wanted to create a breakthrough in my own life.
Like that fly, I too had tried harder and harder and
harder, until I finally gave up in exhaustion.

Here's what I learned (the hard way):

Attempting to achieve a goal by trying the same thing
harder and harder is a dead end approach!

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First: The very word "try" indicates you actually
expect failure (you're going to "try"). If you already
know an approach is failing, trying it harder won't get
you anywhere! You'll just fail harder!

Second: Failing again and again does NOT take you any
closer to success. All it does is dampen your spirit
and damage your self-confidence and self-esteem. And
who needs that!

"So," you ask, "How else can I achieve my goals?" The
answer lies in a pulling back and trying a completely
different approach!

Think of that fly on the dusty windowsill the next time
you find yourself "efforting" to achieve a goal.

Let go...relax...then try another approach! Sometimes
just letting go will clear your mind to see a better
way of getting what you want. "Just try harder" will
seldom get you to your goal. It's just a big, fat lie
that needs to be replaced with some different
goal-directed behaviors!

Think about it for a moment! If you want "something
new," You're going to have to "try something new."


The author, Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler, is a former
consultant to the Pentagon and a Presidential
Commission. Her “Take Charge” ecourse is being used by
success seekers in 21 countries around the world. For
more info=> Click Here:

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